Where I've been and where I need to go

I finally got round to finishing the editing of Hide and See yesterday.  I say 'finish' in that this draft is complete.  I don't doubt that there will be several thousand more edits after this (please let that be an exaggeration) but nonetheless, I feel it is complete enough to send off to various wonderful beta readers who offered to look at it for me.  Just as soon as I can remember who it was that offered all those weeks ago when I originally said I was going to finish it.

I did some work on book 2 earlier in the week as well.  I think the last thing I'd said on the blog was that I'd written chapter 3, but since then chapter 3 has become chapter 5 and I have written a different chapter 3 and a large chunk of chapter 1, along with various other bits from chapters 2-8.  Sound confusing?  Welcome to my head.

Unfortunately, chapter 1 isn't finished because I can't think how to start it (and thus the whole book).  My problem lies in the fact that Hide and See originally started quite slowly and I didn't like it.  I then edited it so that the first few chapters were much more exciting, something which I feel works much better.

Now, book 2 starts in a slow, quiet way.  Seeing a pattern here?  The problem is, I can't figure out a way to make the start more exciting given that the peaceful setting at the beginning is needed (for various reasons which I won't go into here).  So how do I create an engaging beginning?

I've been considering starting it with a vision of the (much more action-packed) future - ah, the joys of having a Seer for the main character! - but I'm worried that this feels too much like a starting-a-novel-with-a-dream thing.  Which is apparently very bad, according to a writing blog I read earlier this week.

This will be needing a lot of thought.

Anyway, on the whole I'm feeling more positive about book 2 than I was earlier in the week.  This is down to said editing of book 1 yesterday.  Having gone through the complete story (rather than the mismatched fragments which currently make up book 2) I got a clearer picture of where I've been and where I need to go.  And I actually found I quite liked my characters again, rather than finding them frustrating for not doing what they're told.

Too much like fun

In the past week, I have read three books.  I have been told many times that reading is an essential activity for a writer, and yet I still can't quite convince my conscience that I haven't been wasting my time.  Mainly because I enjoy reading and figure that anything I like can't possibly be work.

Not that I don't enjoy writing, obviously (although, let's be honest, that doesn't really feel too much like work either) but there doesn't seem to be a great deal of effort involved in the reading process.  Someone else has already done the hard work.  All that's left for me to do is sit back and enjoy their story.

Of course, while I'm reading the book I also pick out bits which could be changed.  Sentences which might have flowed better if they were reordered.  Repetitions of words within a sentence or paragraph.  Typos.  The usual stuff.  I can't help it anymore - things like that just leap out at me, for which I have the MA to thank.  I guess this is a good thing, even if it can take you out of the story sometimes.

I have been doing some writing too, still working on those early chapters for book 2.  Today a few of the scenes came together, bits were added or filled in, and I hope tomorrow to complete a chapter (although where that one will actually fall, I don't know).

That previous sentence made me think that maybe I ought to be finalising my chapter-plan.  But somehow, that doesn't sound as fun.  And apparently I'm a five-year-old this week, and won't be paying attention to anything even remotely practical.

Jubilee, excuses and trains

This time, I could blame the Jubilee for my lack of posting but I'm really starting to feel like I should stop making excuses and just get on with it.  Man-up and all that, even if that feels vaguely anti-feminist to say.  Woman-up?  Sounds a little odd.

The end of last week saw some writing progress, this time on the computer seeing as the sun had gone and buggered off behind the clouds again.  On Thursday and Friday I wrote Chapter 3 of Hide and See's sequel, which is slightly bizarre in that I've not actually written Chapters 1 and 2 yet.

I wrote Hide and See in a very linear fashion, moving chapter-by-chapter through the book, and only jotting down rough ideas for later parts, in addition to my neatly-tabled plan.  This time, I seem to be writing scenes whenever they occur to me, without worrying about whereabouts they'll appear in the novel.  I've yet to decide whether or not this is a good thing - time will tell I guess.

When I say I don't know where they'll appear, I have at least been keeping these scenes to the first third of the novel.  I don't think I could write something from the end because I don't know for certain how I'm going to get there yet.  I mean, I've planned it but it's very unlikely that it's actually going to pan out that way.  Such is the nature of planning sometimes: do so with great thought, then largely disregard if something better comes to mind.

In other news, the deadline for the Good Housekeeping competition passed and I didn't hear anything.  Not hugely surprised (or surprised at all, in fact) given the fact that it was the first time I'd ever entered a competition like that.  Plus my entry was quite violent, much like most of what I write (I'm sure something could be said about my mental state here) and perhaps not really appropriate for the lovely people who read such magazines.

While writing this blog post, I departed for almost an hour in order to go stand on a bridge in the freezing June wind to watch a steam train. (*cough* anorak *cough*) and it was really quite marvellous.  I stood right over the top of it and felt the bridge shake as it went underneath.  But it also served as an interesting writing exercise - whether I could interrupt my train of thought (unintentional pun, I promise) mid-flow and then pick it up easily upon return.  And while I think I managed it, I feel rather sorry for my sister who had the unpleasant task of interrupting me mid-thought.  It wasn't pretty.

Sunshine

So in case you hadn't noticed, the sun has been out this week.  Out and glorious and marvellous and all too wonderful to miss.  Thus, I have spent a good chunk of this week sat in the garden, drinking up that sunshine before it inevitably disappears behind a curtain of cloud.

This has meant, however, that I haven't been doing all the things which I ought to have done this week.  Take this here blog, for instance.  I fully intended to write a post on Tuesday but then the sun thing happened and here we are on Sunday with my finally having gotten round to it.

I also intended to finish the final tweaks to my latest Hide and See draft, ready to send off to a volunteer beta reader.  And have I done it?  That would be a no, what with the computer being inside and the sun being outside.

I haven't been completely useless this week, however.  I've finally started doing some writing for book two, long-hand, thereby making it compatible with the whole sitting-outside-ness.  I've written several scenes which, while I know they'll occur towards the beginning of the book, I'm not yet sure of the order or what chapter they'll fall in.  I'm focusing on getting the feel for the book at the moment: I don't want to over-plan the thing to the point that it feels sterile.

I also read a book: Generation 18 by Keri Arthur.  I'd read several of Arthur's books for my dissertation last year.  Her books were definitely the best of all the Primary World fiction I read during that time, with many others tending towards cliché and repetition.  I found Generation 18 for sale in Totton Library.  20p: how could I resist?  Alas, it is the second book in a trilogy but I managed to follow it well enough and rather enjoyed it too.  Considering hunting out book three.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green tells the story of Hazel, a teenager with terminal cancer.  At a Support Group she meets Augustus, and the pair fall in love.

The subject matter of this novel should have made for a thoroughly depressing book from start to finish, and yet John Green has managed to weave a tale full of light and bubbling humour.  There were several bits which made me laugh out loud, and yet it is done with such good-heartedness that it is impossible to find it inappropriate.

But don’t be fooled by this humour – it is a book that will make you cry.  I have an icy chasm instead of a heart and I cried.  I’m not one to cry at books – my rationality tends to override my sentimentality (how am I supposed to read the words if there is all this water in my eyes?) but with this book, I couldn’t help it.

At one point I even said ‘F*** you, John Green’ out loud, which really should be taken as a compliment.  It is a testament to his skill as a writer that his work led me to yelling swear-words at him for making me feel all these emotions.

Even though the book starts cheerfully enough – and in fact continues to do so for the majority of the book – there is still a sense of impending tragedy in some intangible way.  The story manages to be simultaneously happy and sad, and I have no idea how he does it.

In a way, I was already predisposed to like this book.  I’m a subscriber to the ‘vlogbrothers’ youtube channel, which is run by John Green and his brother Hank, where they create and upload videos on a variety of subjects too numerous to list here.  As a result, I am a nerdfighter – a member of a ‘bizarre internet cult’ made up of ‘intellectual loners’ (thanks for that, Daily Star).  So I was already a fan of John Green, thus making it inevitable that I would love his book, right?

Well, not necessarily.  First off, I’ve talked (i.e. ranted) before about my views on having high expectations.  Secondly, this genre is very much outside of my comfort zone, there after all being no magic, mutant powers or epic battles, and the only gunfights via the characters playing video games.  I would never normally have picked up this book – and so, despite the uncharacteristic crying it induced, I am very glad that John Green makes such funny and informative videos or else I would’ve missed out on this little gem of a novel.

Brain Battle

The vague plot for Hide and See's sequel is solidifying in my head.  It's not concrete by any means but I don't think it can be until I'm actually writing it.  I've done firm chapter plans before, right at the start with a different book and have ended up having to change it halfway through because of how the story evolves organically.

On the whole, I've enjoyed this planning process, even if there have been points when I've thought of an idea, been really pleased with it, then realised a few minutes later that it is in fact complete bollocks.  I suppose it's better that I figured that before I wrote it but it can be frustrating sometimes to look at my notes and think 'how could I ever have thought that was a good idea?!'

For all that the planning process has been good, I feel like I really need to start writing now.  I'm getting that grumpiness I feel when I haven't written for a while.  The problem with this, though, is when I'm in this grumpy mood my head tells me that everything I'd write is going to be shite anyway so I might as well not bother and that I should just wallow in my unproductive mediocrity and eat a lot of chocolate.  While I do not on principle disagree with the chocolate idea, I desperately need to not listen to the voice that said it would be pointless to write anything.  Because no writing equals even more grumpiness.  And so on and so forth.

So this weekend my head is playing host to an epic battle between two sections of my brain: one that produces the words and one that says I ought to just stay in bed and watch all those recorded episodes of The Mentalist which I need to catch up on.

In other news, I'm reading John Green's The Fault in Our Stars and hope to write a review of it when I'm done.

The Importance of Being Thoughtful

I've managed to do a little editing of the latter chapters of Hide and See, although it's far from complete.  A lot of the things I need to change are so small and nit-picky that I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself.  I'm not trying to excuse myself - I really should stop being such a child and do what I'm supposed to be doing - but that's the way it is right now.

Instead, what my brain has chosen to focus on is Book 2.  I've not started writing it yet - I have at least stuck to my resolution of not charging straight in without planning - but it's taking up a good portion of my creative process nonetheless.

So if I'm not writing, what I am doing?

I'm thinking.  Yes, that sounds very woolly, again like the child I undoubtedly am making up excuses as to why she hasn't done the set work yet (Because I was thinking, Miss).  And yet not only am I finding this process fun, it also feels very useful.

You see, I thought I had quite a lot of Book 2 roughly planned out in my head.  It turns out, however, that I've only really got a clear idea for around the first quarter of the book (if that).  I'd been focusing so much on small details and specific scenes, that I realised that I hadn't figured out the whole journey.

This is why I'm very glad I decided not to start writing until I've got a clear plan.  I don't want a repeat of Book 1.  I want my novel to be heading somewhere right from the start.