I haven't been longlisted for the Mslexia Novel Competition.
Because I am obsessive (checking my email, asking after the post, looking at Mslexia's website over and over), I searched online for any mentions of someone being longlisted for the competition - and found a blog post by a person who had. Written almost a month ago.
She'd been notified by email right at the beginning of November. It feels like a heck of a long time that I kept hold of my false hope, but now that I know for sure I kind of miss it.
Probably not a healthy attitude but hey, this is my brain we're talking about.
I knew early on that I was placing too much expectation in this competition but no matter how hard I tried to stop I just couldn't help it. Now the disappointment has put me in something of a bad mood, with that annoying voice in my head whispering that it must mean my best writing's not good enough.
I try not to listen - because I love writing, I really do. I guess I just need to go back to doing it for me now, not some faceless professionals at the other end of the post.
Right, I'm going to bugger off now. I promise next time I'll try to be less pathetically morose.
Toodley-pip!
Wednesday, 27 November 2013
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Limbo
I've been feeling a little bit in limbo these past couple of weeks, and it's all Mslexia's fault.
Obviously it's really my fault but it's easier to lay the blame on a faceless external entity. And if we're being truthful here, I would admit that - despite my best efforts otherwise - I have placed far too much hope in this novel competition.
The longlist is due out this month and since the deadline in September - or probably before that - I've held it up as The Standard at Which to Aim. If I get longlisted, my brain says, my writing is good enough.
All attempts to get my brain to shut the hell up have thus far been in vain.
I am perfectly aware that the Mslexia competition isn't the be-all and end-all. I know this. But it doesn't stop the brain and it doesn't stop my first thought on reaching home in the evenings from being 'has there been any post?'
I need to think about something else. I need a distraction. And a useful, productive distraction (for all that watching cat videos on youtube has its appeal).
Book three seems like quite a good option.
Obviously it's really my fault but it's easier to lay the blame on a faceless external entity. And if we're being truthful here, I would admit that - despite my best efforts otherwise - I have placed far too much hope in this novel competition.
The longlist is due out this month and since the deadline in September - or probably before that - I've held it up as The Standard at Which to Aim. If I get longlisted, my brain says, my writing is good enough.
All attempts to get my brain to shut the hell up have thus far been in vain.
I am perfectly aware that the Mslexia competition isn't the be-all and end-all. I know this. But it doesn't stop the brain and it doesn't stop my first thought on reaching home in the evenings from being 'has there been any post?'
I need to think about something else. I need a distraction. And a useful, productive distraction (for all that watching cat videos on youtube has its appeal).
Book three seems like quite a good option.
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