Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Well that's that then

I haven't been longlisted for the Mslexia Novel Competition.

Because I am obsessive (checking my email, asking after the post, looking at Mslexia's website over and over), I searched online for any mentions of someone being longlisted for the competition - and found a blog post by a person who had.  Written almost a month ago.

She'd been notified by email right at the beginning of November.  It feels like a heck of a long time that I kept hold of my false hope, but now that I know for sure I kind of miss it.

Probably not a healthy attitude but hey, this is my brain we're talking about.

I knew early on that I was placing too much expectation in this competition but no matter how hard I tried to stop I just couldn't help it.  Now the disappointment has put me in something of a bad mood, with that annoying voice in my head whispering that it must mean my best writing's not good enough.

I try not to listen - because I love writing, I really do.  I guess I just need to go back to doing it for me now, not some faceless professionals at the other end of the post.

Right, I'm going to bugger off now.  I promise next time I'll try to be less pathetically morose.


Wednesday, 13 November 2013


I've been feeling a little bit in limbo these past couple of weeks, and it's all Mslexia's fault.

Obviously it's really my fault but it's easier to lay the blame on a faceless external entity.  And if we're being truthful here, I would admit that - despite my best efforts otherwise - I have placed far too much hope in this novel competition.

The longlist is due out this month and since the deadline in September - or probably before that - I've held it up as The Standard at Which to Aim.  If I get longlisted, my brain says, my writing is good enough.

All attempts to get my brain to shut the hell up have thus far been in vain.

I am perfectly aware that the Mslexia competition isn't the be-all and end-all.  I know this.  But it doesn't stop the brain and it doesn't stop my first thought on reaching home in the evenings from being 'has there been any post?'

I need to think about something else.  I need a distraction.  And a useful, productive distraction (for all that watching cat videos on youtube has its appeal).

Book three seems like quite a good option.