I haven't been longlisted for the Mslexia Novel Competition.
Because I am obsessive (checking my email, asking after the post, looking at Mslexia's website over and over), I searched online for any mentions of someone being longlisted for the competition - and found a blog post by a person who had. Written almost a month ago.
She'd been notified by email right at the beginning of November. It feels like a heck of a long time that I kept hold of my false hope, but now that I know for sure I kind of miss it.
Probably not a healthy attitude but hey, this is my brain we're talking about.
I knew early on that I was placing too much expectation in this competition but no matter how hard I tried to stop I just couldn't help it. Now the disappointment has put me in something of a bad mood, with that annoying voice in my head whispering that it must mean my best writing's not good enough.
I try not to listen - because I love writing, I really do. I guess I just need to go back to doing it for me now, not some faceless professionals at the other end of the post.
Right, I'm going to bugger off now. I promise next time I'll try to be less pathetically morose.