Saturday, 21 January 2012

New job, but bad writing

My writing hasn't gone well this week.  What a depressing sentence to begin with.  Alas, it is true.

I fully intended to make a good start with the Hide and See re-write.  The first fourteen chapters really need work and I stand by my decision of last week to more or less completely re-do them.  At the time, this seemed like quite an exciting prospect.  After almost a month of doing barely any extensive writing during my Fall editing, I thought it would be great to finally get my teeth into producing something new.

What I found, however, was that the part of my brain which produces sentences I'm happy with, has gone walkies.  It has up and disappeared, and didn't even have the courtesy to write me a note to let me know when it would be back.  And that's just plain rude.

This week I managed to construct a plan for these new fourteen chapters but the actual writing came at a much slower pace.  It took three days, and much growling at my computer, for me to do the first chapter, and a page of that I lifted straight from the previous draft.  And bearing in mind how short my chapters are (around 2k) I think it's pretty poor.

Add to all this the fact that I don't even like what I did manage to write, and you have a very frustrated dinosaur.  I feel betrayed by my own brain.  I also don't know how much time/energy/inclination/etc I'm going to have to write as of next week because (good news!) I've finally managed to get a job!  Yay!

This is the reason, I'm assuming, for my pathetic lack of writing-progress this week because much of my time has been sorting things out for said new job (interview, filling out forms, being absolutely terrified and so on).  I'm also still volunteering at a museum library in Lyndhurst and hope to start volunteering for the National Trust within the next couple of weeks too.

All of this makes me worry that I won't have much time to write - which then leads to me being too stressed to write when I actually have the time to.  Yep, welcome to my brain, Ladies and Gentlemen.  I never said it made any sense.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I managed to write the first draft of Fall while I had my full-time job at Cengage.  If I could do it then, I'm sure I can do it now.  In fact I have to, or else I'll turn into a grumpy bugger.  Or more of one than I already am.

But right now I'm going to finish off watching last week's episode of Antiques Roadshow, because that is how cool I am.  Oh yeah.

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